Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
