You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
