what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
