You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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