thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
