we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
