I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
