i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
