i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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