Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
