im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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