i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
