We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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