i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
BRING THE BAGELS
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
