I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
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I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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