So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
