He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
