It's Friday. Sex?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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