Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
