Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
