I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We left the knife in your bed.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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