a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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