Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
