Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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