yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
