That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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