Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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