she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
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Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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