Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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