Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
