There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
