In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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