last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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