I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
