the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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