I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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