I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
