i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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