she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
