its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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