marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
