Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

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  (615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked. http://tfl.nu/g4y8
  Replies (45) Good night (1600) Bad night (9576)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.

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  (647): So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie. http://tfl.nu/dsah
  Replies (7) Good night (3144) Bad night (870)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd

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  (905): I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd http://tfl.nu/je1e
  Replies (6) Good night (1002) Bad night (2074)
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  (619): View more from California

  It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.

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  (619): It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/0yym
  Replies (7) Good night (3353) Bad night (993)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.

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  (847): Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too. http://tfl.nu/lfcy
  Replies (6) Good night (3637) Bad night (890)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I left it in that guy's dorm room.

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  (613): come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?! (902): I left it in that guy's dorm room. http://tfl.nu/1k29
  Replies (4) Good night (1660) Bad night (625)
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  (323): View more from California

  He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible

  (310): View more from California

  well did you say yes?

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  (323): He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible (310): well did you say yes? http://tfl.nu/94vg
  Replies (9) Good night (2312) Bad night (1529)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??

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  (614): The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!?? http://tfl.nu/bmvr
  Replies (7) Good night (703) Bad night (1830)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro

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  (914): He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro http://tfl.nu/3g5k
  Replies (4) Good night (1180) Bad night (383)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?

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  (505): I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet? http://tfl.nu/aavq
  Replies (9) Good night (1910) Bad night (731)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.

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  (907): I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex. http://tfl.nu/29kt
  Replies (11) Good night (645) Bad night (975)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.

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  (336): I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can. http://tfl.nu/mx39
  Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.

  (1-786): View more from Florida

  Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?

  (786): View more from Florida

  I insist.

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  (786): Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted. (1-786): Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat? (786): I insist. http://tfl.nu/nbuf
  Replies (2) Good night (1041) Bad night (293)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.

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  (512): That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine. http://tfl.nu/cf73
  Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (314)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sooooo, no second date?

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  (860): He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store. (508): Sooooo, no second date? http://tfl.nu/ghyh
  Replies (5) Good night (270) Bad night (687)

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