Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3

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(480): gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3 http://tfl.nu/7tkz

Replies (5) Good night (3238) Bad night (575)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.

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(612): I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school. http://tfl.nu/cnqq

Replies (88) Good night (971) Bad night (11143)
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(847): View more from Illinois

sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

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(847): sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/gemh

Replies (15) Good night (938) Bad night (5866)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight

(1-480): View more from Arizona

Why?

(480): View more from Arizona

'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward

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(480): Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight (1-480): Why? (480): 'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward http://tfl.nu/ohlj

Replies (8) Good night (1194) Bad night (4743)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?

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(630): Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible? http://tfl.nu/m7m6

Replies (12) Good night (957) Bad night (3686)
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(404): View more from Georgia

we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?

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(404): we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition? http://tfl.nu/nsp8

Replies (8) Good night (5815) Bad night (967)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.

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(201): You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked. http://tfl.nu/py4z

Replies (7) Good night (3895) Bad night (1034)
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(917): View more from New York City

He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.

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(917): He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay. http://tfl.nu/36pt

Replies (7) Good night (2594) Bad night (750)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.

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(215): No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death. http://tfl.nu/8wb9

Replies (4) Good night (531) Bad night (1611)
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(316): View more from Kansas

At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!

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(316): At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/842p

Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (1301)
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(253): View more from Washington

You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.

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(253): You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded. http://tfl.nu/x9oy

Replies (2) Good night (891) Bad night (448)
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(406): View more from Montana

Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you

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(406): Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you http://tfl.nu/uju1

Replies (4) Good night (869) Bad night (280)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.

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(306): We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned. http://tfl.nu/jttg

Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (286)
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(954): View more from Florida

Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.

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(954): Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie. http://tfl.nu/d57l

Replies (8) Good night (350) Bad night (1428)
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(415): View more from California

Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles

(907): View more from Alaska

How do you keep ending up in these situations?

(415): View more from California

My dad is their accountant

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(415): Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles (907): How do you keep ending up in these situations? (415): My dad is their accountant http://tfl.nu/1r4v

Replies (2) Good night (1010) Bad night (211)

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