I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
