are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The air was thick with penises
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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