C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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