i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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