after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize