We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
how drunk are you?
Several
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
