they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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