Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
