she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
