see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer