Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.