Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.

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(305): View more from Florida

Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:

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(813): View more from Florida

from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick

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(571): View more from Virginia

you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(863): View more from Florida

I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.

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(949): View more from California

this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.

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(360): View more from Washington

he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

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(504): View more from Louisiana

She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?

(803): View more from South Carolina

Yeah, why?

(864): View more from South Carolina

The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries

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