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• (310): View more from California

  I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night

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• (253): View more from Washington

  once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Anderson Cooper just came out.

  (212): View more from New York

  Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?

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