Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  Can Purell be used as lube?

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  (512): Can Purell be used as lube? http://tfl.nu/e9pj
  Replies (37) Good night (771) Bad night (4119)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her

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  (416): No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her http://tfl.nu/hm02
  Replies (108) Good night (4167) Bad night (1208)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.

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  (417): So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes. http://tfl.nu/bjrk
  Replies (48) Good night (9445) Bad night (1434)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.

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  (404): Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n. http://tfl.nu/ek1y
  Replies (20) Good night (4755) Bad night (705)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i really wish james franco would like my vagina

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  (540): i really wish james franco would like my vagina http://tfl.nu/g4mj
  Replies (25) Good night (5937) Bad night (1375)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd

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  (815): The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd http://tfl.nu/v8gr
  Replies (7) Good night (3004) Bad night (1103)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy

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  (917): I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy http://tfl.nu/okyl
  Replies (1) Good night (2585) Bad night (1227)
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  (555): View more from

  After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.

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  (555): After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire. http://tfl.nu/pn7x
  Replies (6) Good night (4657) Bad night (997)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals

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  (817): We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals http://tfl.nu/i9zu
  Replies (12) Good night (2157) Bad night (738)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk

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  (713): He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk http://tfl.nu/6kdn
  Replies (7) Good night (1596) Bad night (714)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  we need a secret handshake

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  (616): time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night? (1-616): we need a secret handshake http://tfl.nu/i0zy
  Replies (7) Good night (1639) Bad night (452)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for

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  (847): I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for http://tfl.nu/6wjj
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (747)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker

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  (617): well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker http://tfl.nu/t0fs
  Replies (5) Good night (547) Bad night (344)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.

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  (229): I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future. http://tfl.nu/le78
  Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (135)
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  (909): View more from California

  I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.

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  (909): I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her. http://tfl.nu/48aw
  Replies (6) Good night (239) Bad night (223)

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