Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
