member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?