he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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