would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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