I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
