You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
