I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
