K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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