Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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