Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We are all done wearing pants today
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
