Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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