Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
