considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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