Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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