don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he laminated a picture of his dick.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
