you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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